An excerpt of Dating Dicks
“Uh, ok. I’ll look into it, “I said with apprehension.
I had to do my research first and this is what I found: Match is the number 1 destination for online dating with more dates, more relationships and more marriages than any other dating or personals site.
“Good Lord,” I thought to myself. I refuse to go online to “voyeur- land” where you chose a “match” based off of a picture and a few words that people write about themselves. But I am curious because a lot of my friends have had success… so they say. “Alright, I’ll give it a shot.”
In the case of this online platform, you are matched with someone that has the same likes or dislikes that you do. In my case, I like coffee, wine, going out to dinner, traveling and non-smokers. But when I was ‘matched’ with username “kittenlikher”, “guywithherpes2” and “sexstarved” I was not sure how we possibly matched! Oh but wait, then the summary of themselves is also a winner. For example, “Let’s be real. It starts with physical attraction…then personality and chemistry. Don’t over-think it.”
DONT OVER THINK IT??? Are you kidding me? I can see why you are single, dude!
And then there are the messages you can send back and forth to each other. One guy sent me this message, “I’m ready to be happy now.” And another one said, “I’m just trying to get your attention.” And yet the most hysterical to date was, “How is the search for dick going?”
And then, I took the plunge and went out on a date that I ‘matched’ with. We decide to meet at a coffee shop. I get there and I don’t recognize him because he does not look like the pictures he posted online. I truly think he used some other guys pictures! He had to flag me down. I see him and want to run away. But that would be rude, right? So I stay and we go to order coffee and he does NOT drink coffee (one of my likes). He also shared with me that he was a virgin…(I am pausing here because I know what you are thinking.) AND he is 40, never married, no kids. Uh huh. And a virgin…
At that point, I deleted my account to Match.
What does it really mean to ‘match” to someone? Pictures, words, messages? Really? When the guy who messaged me ‘I’m ready to be happy now’, I thought, “Is he not happy with himself?” Because if you depend on someone else for your happiness, you are asking for trouble. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you can not show up for anyone in a relationship unless you can show up for yourself first. Can you get offline and be online with you. Because at the end of the day, you are a match for yourself and if you are not, then you are not ready for love. Are you ready to be happy now? Then love you and match you first.
By the way, the picture in this blog is what I used as my profile picture for Match. You can see my kids reaction to me telling them that I was going on Match! It’s real, it’s raw and it’s who I am on a daily basis. No matches? No problem… I match me and he, when ready for me, will match me too.
To learn more about “Match Dick”, get on the waitlist of my book The Outrageous Adventures of Dating Dick. Due out late Fall 2017.
AND if you want to love yourself more and find freedom from anxiety, fear or pain sign up for my Mentoring Program and I can help you get your POWER back and keep it in all the relationships you encounter.